JANIE, age: 11
A girl in my class invited me to her birthday party and I told her I could come. It will be a small party at her house with a few friends. Now another friend is having a big party the same day. It would be impossible to go to both parties. I really want to go to the big party but my mother said I should go to the small party because I was invited there first.

JEANIE, mother
I feel Janie should attend the small party simply because she has already accepted the invitation. I want to teach Janie that it is right to keep commitments. I know she’ll have a great time at the small party but she’s angry that I would let her back out.

GUIDANCE COUNSELOR:
Jeannie,
I agree with you. Janie should attend the first party because it’s the right thing to do. Take this opportunity to teach Janie about keeping commitments.
Janie, imagine how hurt the host of the smaller party would feel if she found out why you backed out of attending her party. You would probably have hurt feelings if a friend backed out on you to accept a more attractive invitation. Chances are, you’ll have a great time at the smaller party and your classmate will be glad you came. Explain to your other friend that you already have plans that day and can’t attend her party. Remember to thank her for the invitation and let her know you are sorry to miss her party.

Louise Hajjar Diamond has been a guidance counselor for twelve years. She is also a freelance writer and mother of two.